Giving A Child Away
When Joanna and Darren found out they were expecting an unplanned child, they came to a momentous decision: they would "give" their new baby to Darren's childless sister. This is the story of how they came to live with their decision.
When Joanna and Darren found out they were expecting an unplanned child, they came to a momentous decision: they would "give" their new baby to Darren's childless sister. It was to be a gift of love from a brother to a sister. But as Joanna's pregnancy progressed, they began to have increasing doubts about what they were doing. No one could have anticipated the heartache that would result. This emotional, high quality film throws fundamental questions into the air about love, adoption and family. One of its greatest strengths is that it gives no straight answers.
"It's hard to put into words how grateful I am. I will never be able to repay them", states Tracey, as her beautiful daughter, Sydney, plays nearby. She had always longed for children but a childhood accident left her unable to conceive. After years of failed IVF treatments, a long anticipated adoption fell through and she was beginning to lose hope that she would ever be a mother. Then Tracey and her husband Rick received a phone call that would change their lives.
"When I rang Tracey and told her I was going to let her adopt our child she was overwhelmed. ... She had to pinch herself", recalls Tracey's sister-in-law, Joanna. She and her husband Darren were shocked to find out that they were expecting another child. They were worried about how they would be able to afford another baby and about the impact this would have on their other young children. "We felt guilty that we could just have another child and Rick and Tracey were having so much trouble." recalls Darren. "It just seemed so unfair."
The couple consoled themselves with the knowledge that their new baby would be loved and given the best that money that could buy. But this did not stop them regretting their generous offer. "The further we got down the pregnancy, the more doubts we had," recalls Darren. Matters were not helped when Joanna found out that the baby she was carrying was a much longed for girl. "That was the hardest part for me to deal with", she states. "Knowing that it was a little girl and Tracey was going to get that little girl that I had always wanted." Their lowest point came when the baby was born. "I just got caught up in the excitement of Sydney being born and had forgotten all about the adoption. Then I realised that this wasn't our child anymore and I just broke down crying", says Darren. Desperate to get away quickly, the couple were had to wait three days before the adoption papers could be signed. Then they returned home to learn that rumours were circulating that they had sold their baby for $50,000. Today, two years on, baby Sydney is thriving with Rick and Tracey. But both couples - and Sydney's biological siblings - are still struggling to cope with the deep feelings that have been stirred up. Everyone's emotions come to the fore when the two families reunite for a short holiday on Hamilton Island just before Christmas. "Even to this day, we still have doubts about whether we've done the right thing", admits Darren. "I really worry about Sydney one day asking the question 'Why?'" In an effort to heal some of the pain, they decide to have another child. "I so desperately want this child I'm carrying to be a little girl ... like the one we lost", says Joanna. Tracey too is hoping to adopt another child and her sister has agreed to act as a surrogate mother. However, as Darren and Joanna spend more and more time with their little 'niece', the impact of what they have lost hits them. "I made a terrible mistake for myself," confides Joanna. "I would never do it again. Never."
FULL SYNOPSIS
The couple consoled themselves with the knowledge that their new baby would be loved and given the best that money that could buy. But this did not stop them regretting their generous offer. "The further we got down the pregnancy, the more doubts we had," recalls Darren. Matters were not helped when Joanna found out that the baby she was carrying was a much longed for girl. "That was the hardest part for me to deal with", she states. "Knowing that it was a little girl and Tracey was going to get that little girl that I had always wanted." Their lowest point came when the baby was born. "I just got caught up in the excitement of Sydney being born and had forgotten all about the adoption. Then I realised that this wasn't our child anymore and I just broke down crying", says Darren. Desperate to get away quickly, the couple were had to wait three days before the adoption papers could be signed. Then they returned home to learn that rumours were circulating that they had sold their baby for $50,000. Today, two years on, baby Sydney is thriving with Rick and Tracey. But both couples - and Sydney's biological siblings - are still struggling to cope with the deep feelings that have been stirred up. Everyone's emotions come to the fore when the two families reunite for a short holiday on Hamilton Island just before Christmas. "Even to this day, we still have doubts about whether we've done the right thing", admits Darren. "I really worry about Sydney one day asking the question 'Why?'" In an effort to heal some of the pain, they decide to have another child. "I so desperately want this child I'm carrying to be a little girl ... like the one we lost", says Joanna. Tracey too is hoping to adopt another child and her sister has agreed to act as a surrogate mother. However, as Darren and Joanna spend more and more time with their little 'niece', the impact of what they have lost hits them. "I made a terrible mistake for myself," confides Joanna. "I would never do it again. Never."
Produced by ABC Australia